for what it's worth...

I think the thing that has always bothered me about blogging...who cares what I have to say? How many people are actually going to read the words that I write? Perhaps none. And I'm actually kind of content with that...I can be completely honest and just put my words out there and if someone reads them, okay, whatever. If no one does, I have a journal and I aired my thoughts. If someone hates what I have to say, they can move along, I'm not writing it for "someone" anyway. Still feels kind of self-absorbed, I suppose. But alas, here I am.


I think it's a shame when someone says their reason for being hesitant about this whole "God thing" is because of the church. Not specifically A church, but THE church, as a whole. They view the church as hypocritcal and self indulgent, judgemental, uptight, empty, fake, and dishonest. And you know, I have seen it and experienced it firsthand, I know exactly what they mean. And I understand...but I also understand that the church is unfortunately made up entirely of humans...and we've all sinned and we all fall short, right? None of us will get it right...which is precisely why Christ died and paid the price so that I don't have to and you don't have to. The CHURCH does not represent Christ to me, Christ represents Christ to me. I can make that seperation, but I have a relationship with Jesus Christ, God the Father and the Holy Spirit.

That being said, it is hard when you see, very clearly and openly, a church and her leaders leading people astray. They, like I said, are also human, sinful, and in the same boat as me. We all won't get it right; we can all try. And I have righteous anger for the things that I have seen that are not Biblical and have actually caused people to just throw their hands up and say, 'Forget you, God.' It breaks my heart that it's happened...but at the same time--when you look to people, you will ALWAYS be dissappointed. So, while "church" may be getting it wrong...we shouldn't be looking to the "church" in the first place. So then how do you have righteous anger about the situation? When we're all supposed to be one Body...I must add here, that I do think that when someone is in direct disregard to the Bible and its principals, it is a seperate matter...however, what does that look like then?

Ugh. The whole thing is so confusing and hard to actually work through. I don't know that I'll ever have a "solution" to this--its not really my job to, but I guess I do need more wisdom in the matter. Obviously, for the person looking to the church for an answer, I pray they can find it within the walls, but of course, they shouldn't be looking to the people, it's all about Christ. For the person who is leading, and leading wrong, I also need to continue forgiving and pray that it does change and does not harm anyone else. For the person who has already been hurt and has walked away...please, don't look to people. Not to me, your family, friends, or even your pastor. I have an incredible pastor now, I love him, but Pastor Ron has his own flaws. Get to know Christ a little more and look to him. You won't find anything you like in the rest of us. So don't judge God by what any of us do. Judge Him by what He did...you won't have anything to "judge," I promise--not if you really look.

For anyone who actually took the time to read that, hey, thanks. Feel free, if you have any wisdom to impart, post away. I don't know that I have anything else to say at this point, just kind of mulling it all over in my head. I wish there was a step by step, "Living Life for Dummies," book... Blast, there's not.

Lata